The Walls We Build
by Wendell27
Summary: Rade. What is like to find someone who's just like you? It's scary. I SUCK at summaries, seriously.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So, this is my first try at a Victorious fanfic :D And it's Rade :D Let's see where it goes, might be a one-shot, let me know if you guys want me to continue or not :D PS: I'll update my Stefan&Caroline fic in a couple of days :)**

_Don't let me go..._

Jade West knew she was one of a kind. But that wasn't necessarily a good thing. She always felt like an outsider who couldn't fit in with anybody. It's not like she didn't want to fit in but somehow a little voice in her head was always saying "They are not like you, they won't accept you". She didn't know why but she listened to this voice. So she never got closer. To anybody. And since she was afraid to get closer she was also afraid to let people in. Whenever someone tried she got terrified and the dominant voice in her head said "Don't let that happen, they just gonna end up hurting you". So she built a wall. At one point she thought that wall was probably the same size as the great wall of China. Her rudeness to other people came with that wall. That was her way to defend herself. From what exactly she didn't really know.

She did discovered she had a talent. And that she loved that talent, the talent that made her like at least one part of her one of a kind style. She loved to perform. That was where she knew she could shine. On the stage. So when she got into Hollywood Arts it was trully the happiest moment of her life. She even cried of happiness.

She would never admit it but on that day she believed that a bigger force, that was beyond her understanding, was giving her a chance. A real chance at _happiness_. And she would grab onto that chance and she was gonna make it worth it. But that didn't mean she was ready to let her guard down.

As shocking as it was to her, she made friends in HA. Cat, a ditzy redhair who Jade thought that lived in another world because the girl would say the most random things and would change from sad to happy in a heartbeat. Andre, a laidback boy who always had a smile on his face. That annoyed Jade. But she had to admit that he was a gift musician. Not that she would admit to him anyway. Beck, a sweet boy, who was also laidback and had a "I don't give a fuck" attitude that quickly pulled Jade to him. She thought that was another chance at happiness that was being given to her. So she took it and they started hooking-up.

And last but not least, Robbie Shapiro. Jade didn't want to admit but he was the one that got her attention the most. He was shy, awkward, didn't know very much how to deal with people, was always afraid of rejection, but also had amazing talents. He was a very good guitar player and a very good ventriloquist (even thought she hated his damn puppet). And when Jade saw those things in him she saw... _her_. And that frightened her more than anything. But unlike her, he didn't had any walls up. He wore his heart on his sleeve. Jade didn't know if she should respect that fact or not.

But other than that, he was exactly like her. Jade became a pro when it came to dealing with people who were different than her, it basically became her second nature. But when she found a person that it was like her, she got scared. She was afraid to pull him close, afraid of the consequences. So she did the only thing she knew. She pushed him back. She started mocking him, say hurtful things to him. She tried so hard to get away from him as much as possible. God, she really tried. She wasn't very successful. So she kept him at a safe distance. A distance where she wouldn't lose him but a distance where she wouldn't put him at her side either.

Everytime at lunch, when he looked up and her eyes met his, she could see the hurt on them. The mere seconds that they spent looking at each other she always wanted to say _ "I understand" _but her mouth were saying other things, mostly something funny about his hair or his glasses. But deep down, she knew that boy was broken just like she was.

Her "chance at happiness" was paying off, for the first time in her life she could say she was happy. At least _partly_ happy. Partly because she still had to put her walls up, she just couldn't afford to put her heart out there to her friends only to be shattered. Not yet. And partly because she knew that her "equal" wasn't happy either. And she got that confirmed one day when he stormed out of their lunch table after some comment she made on his acting skills. Jade was ready to run after him but to keep her "character" she stayed as if nothing had happened. But Beck gave her the look she needed. The look that said that she was wrong and that she needed to apologize. She groaned and went after Robbie, silently thanking Beck for giving her that excuse even if he was oblivious of the fact.

She found him in the janitor's closet, sitting on the floor with his head on his hands, not crying but clearly frustrated and pissed-off. Jade tried to sound annoyed when she asked "Yo Shapiro, what the hell was that all about?"

Not looking about he replied in a low voice "Go way Jade". God knew how much she wanted to go but somehow her feet were planted on the floor, just by the door. Not yet apologising Jade asked again "Seriously, what is wrong with you? Can't you take a joke?"

If he only knew how much she was hurting for saying those things. Getting up, he took a step close to her and looking straight into her eyes he said in a higher voice "I wish I knew what is wrong with me! I wish I knew what I do that makes people get way from me! What makes them reject me, but I don't!"

Jade was frozen in her spot, not daring to look anywhere but his eyes. He continued it "I wish I knew what I do to make _you _treat me so badly. When you got here, I don't how or why, but I thought that I could read you. I thought that I saw myself in you. I thought that I finally was meeting someone that it was just like me, who could _understand _me. Guess I was wrong huh?"

Jade tried to say "Robbie, I-" but he cut her "Just forget it" and tried to make a run for the door. In a flash, Jade grabbed his arm and spun him around, placing herself where he was just seconds ago. Without further thought, the words were coming out of her mouth "You know what? When I got here _I_ saw myself in _you!_ I saw a boy who was just as broken as I was. And that scared me! I know how to deal with people who are different than me, I became a pro at it, and it hurts a lot less now. But I didn't know what to expect from a person who's like _me!_ I could not risk get hurt even further! But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt! I tried to get away from you but somehow I just couldn't! Do you know what is like to look at you everyday and be scared of what could happen if I open myself up to you? Guess you don't huh? Moron!"

Once she stopped she realized that she was yelling. She didn't know when he got so close but the next time she blinked his lips came crashing down on hers with full force.

At that moment, all of her walls were down. And she didn't know if she could put them back up again.

**AN: So, Do I continue? I want to, but I need to know what you guys think :)**

**Question: Can somebody explain to me what is the appeal of Beck? I seriously can not understand, to me he's the most normal character, nothing that stands out... And I seriously can not understand why there are some many fics on him lol. Review it if you can please :D **


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Sup'! :D So this is chapter 2 on my Rade fic :D Yes, I will continue it :) Hope you like it and thank you for the reviews :) Let's make this Rade Revolution! :D**

It could've been hours. It could've been days,weeks or months. The only thing Jade knew was that Robbie Shapiro was kissing her... and that she was returning the kiss. What started as a hard kiss became a slow and passionate kiss. She found herself up-against the wall, with Robbie's right hand on her waist and his left hand carefully caressing her cheek. She had both of her hands on the collar of his shirt, tight on a firm grip. This was a kiss like she never experienced before. It was a mix of all of theirs emotions.

If they had their eyes open, Jade was sure that Robbie would see straight through her, breaking all the barriers she tried so hard to put between them. It was a kiss that they would never forget. But as they finally separated to take a needed breath, she realized it was a kiss she _should_ forget.

Then they locked their eyes. In her eyes was written "trouble" and "fear". In his, a big "Why?"

She released him, regretting every second now that she wasn't holding him and made a run for the door with tears in her eyes. This time Robbie didn't stop her. By the time he regained the ability to move again, he returned to the same position he was originally in, seated on the floor with his hands on his head. But now for a entirely different reason.

Jade didn't return for lunch. She needed to get out of that school as soon as possible. She needed to run, literally run, from everything, at least for some time. Even if she knew that she was lying to herself, she felt that if she ran, all of it would go away. So she ran. She only stopped when she reached her house, not very far from HA. Her sweat now was mixtured with her tears. Next thing, she was in the shower, trying to get all the dirt and sweat off of her body. But she couldn't wash way the pain and the guilt that she was feeling.

Pain for doing all those things to Robbie and knowing that she was breaking him even more. And guilt for cheating on Beck. It was only one kiss but a kiss that it held so much meaning that she thought it was the equivalent of a full-out betrayal. As she got out of the shower she texted a quick message to Beck saying she went home because she was feeling sick. And to be true, she was feeling sick. Sick of herself. Sick for making the wrong decision, even when it felt so right. Kissing Robbie felt so right. It was like a puzzle being completed. But she had to tell herself that at least a piece of that puzzle was in the wrong place even if she didn't believe it. She was a coward for running out of the room, leaving Robbie by himself. But she was afraid that if she stayed... she would completely show to him the real Jade West. She would have lost herself in him. It was just too much for a person to take.

On her bed she kept trying to figure out a way to make things right. Only to accept hours later, into the night, that there was no way. Someone would end up getting hurt and she was almost a hundred percent sure that it would be her. In fact, she was already hurt. But the thought of hurting Beck and Robbie even more was haunting her. She had to find a way to make things right. She had to believe in that lie.

In a act of impulse she picked up her phone and scrolled down until she found Robbie's number. Even reading his name on a small screen was starting to mess with her mind and emotions. In less than 10 seconds her fingers typed a simple "_I'm sorry"_. She hit send but didn't wait for a replie. She shouldn't wait for one. So she went to sleep, drying the remaning tears on her pillow. She didn't dream that night.

**AN:Short chapter but I think it came out okay, next chapter it will be on Robbie's POV so stay tuned :D Also, I know I might be writing Jade a bit OCC but to me that's what her character would be like in a drama show so I'm trying to be really angst with her lol Hope you like it and review it PLEASE! :D Let's go Rade's Revolution! **


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN: Sup' everyone! Here with chapter 3 of my Rade fic :) It's on Robbie's POV :D**_

_**Thanks again for the lovely reviews :D **_

The world was crumbling around Robbie. And he was going down with it. But in his mind, Jade West was still very intact. The girl who mocks in constantly. The girl who's mean to him. The girl who he found out it was exactly like him. The girl who he kissed not 30 minutes ago. The kiss that made him believe that time could actually stop. He never tasted something so sweet in his entire life.

Her full lips locked with his felt so right. But only one second to take a breath was enough to break the spell. And once that spell was broken, both of them knew what the consequences could be. Robbie didn't know why, but in that moment he felt courage. Even if the odds were against them, Robbie wanted this. More than anything he ever wanted. But he didn't saw the same courage in Jade's eyes.

Her eyes were full of fears and doubts. He even saw guilt. That's why he didn't stop her when she ran for the door.

Robbie wondered when he would ever get a chance. A _chance at happiness_. When he joined Hollywood Arts he thought that he could be very happy there, doing what he loves to do. It was a glimpse of that happiness in the dark world he lived. A world with no father figure to look up to and a absent mom. And he was actually feeling happy at HA, but some things always made him go back to that dark place. One of those things was Jade West. From the moment he saw her he was able to read her like an open book. But not just any book. He thought he was reading a autobiography.

Yes, Robbie Shapiro and Jade West were pratically the same person. He thought that he would finally have someone to talk to, to understand him, to be there for him. But for some reason that didn't happen. What did happen was her constant mockery of him, a thing he wasn't expecting. But something inside of him kept telling him to not give up. To not give up on _her_.

But everybody had their days. And today was clearly not one of Robbie's best. So the little mean comment about his acting skills made by Jade set him off. He stormed out and went to the janitor's closet to try to cool off. Now, he didn't even remember anymore what was the comment. It didn't matter now. He was stuck between a rock and a hard place. And he didn't know how to get out of it.

He eventually got out of the room, blank expression on his face. Went to Sikowitz's class, had the luck to not get called for any activities. He didn't saw Jade there. It didn't surprised him. She was just as scared as he was, maybe even more. Now that it all sank down, the guilty came over him and he just wasn't able to look at Beck. He managed to evade all of Tori's and Cat's questions with the excuse that he wasn't feeling okay. And he really wasn't. He didn't even bothered to make Rex talk, that's how bad he was. And all of it because of Jade West.

When he got home he went straight to his bedroom and just layed on his bed, staring at the celling. He was silent, but in his head he was screaming. Screaming for help, screaming for someone. Screaming for _Jade_. She was still intact on his mind, not daring to leave. He didn't want her to leave. _"I must be a masochist"_ Robbie thought to himself because the thing that it was causing his pain was the one thing he didn't want to get out if his mind. _Jade_.

Hours passed by and Robbie was still looking at the celling. But as he felt his body going numb he decided that it was probably a good time to move. So he went to take a needed shower. As he came back to his room, already on his PJ's he noticed his pear phone buzzing, signalizing a new message. He looked at the message, a simple _"I'm sorry"_, sent by Jade. He didn't know that two simple words could have so much meaning. He kept trembling with the phone on his hand, staring at the message for 10 minutes straight.

He couldn't gather the courage to replie. Even if he had a lot of things to say. Somehow he promissed himself that he would say those things. Some day.

Robbie also didn't dream that night.

_**AN: Another short chapter I KNOW! xD It's because I didn't put any group interaction so far but I promise that the next chapter I'll make the others characters talk lol And if you think that Robbie and Jade are looking a lot alike... Good, because that's my purpose lol Make them to be really alike :D This is a case where "equals" attract :D Review it please! :D  
><strong>_


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Chapter 4 of my Rade fic :D Group interaction! Please REVIEW IT! **

**I'm a proud member of R.A.B.B.I. :)**

Jade was glad that she didn't dream that night. Because in her sleep she couldn't feel the pain. At the minute she woke up, all of it came back. The kind of pain that Jade wasn't used to deal with it. But she was forced to learn how to deal with it because in 40 minutes she was in school, looking at Beck. Right there she called herself the best actress in the world because her face didn't showed at all what she was feeling. And it was convincing because Beck didn't seem to notice a thing. If he only knew how much she wanted to stay away from him right now and be in the arms of a boy who had a curly fro hair. In her mind that was so wrong and so right at the same time.

Just as this thought was crossing her mind, the one and only Robbie Shapiro appeared at their table. "Hey guys" he said in a voice that wasn't his normal excited one. He wasn't with Rex. All of them replied, even Jade, but in a whisper. She was holding everything in her to not look at him. But instinct took over as she tried a glare at him. Robbie chose that moment to do the exact same thing.

Their eyes locked for a second and then both of them looked down right away. But to them it felt like they were staring at each other for hours. Confusion and embarrassment was written all over their faces, but luckily no one seemed to notice. At least that's what they thought. Tori Vega had a good eye for suspicious things and was good at not letting people know about that talent. When she saw practically the same expression on Robbie and Jade's faces she knew something was wrong. And she was going to find out what it was.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Andre asked Robbie "Hey, are you okay man? Yesterday you seemed like you were spacing out at class and you left as soon as the bell rung. And where's Rex?" Robbie replied quicly "Nah, I'm okay today. I don't know where my head was yesterday, I think I did a very stupid thing but I'm alright now. And I think it's time to start letting Rex go, I gotta focus on more important things right now" With that he looked at Jade who was looking everywhere but him. But she wasn't deaf. She heard him telling he did a stupid thing and she knew what it was. She just didn't want to believe it.

Andre thought that was a good answer so he nodded and continued to eat his food. Cat was distracted (of course) with her pear phone, playing some game and giggling away. Beck was talking to Andre now. So to not miss a step, Tori asked, trying to sound innocent

"So Robbie, what was the stupid thing you did?" Robbie eyed her suspiciously, trying to figure out what she really wanted behind that baby smile. He was surprised when he replied so fast "Oh, I just had a fight with a friend. I was a big jerk and still that person apologized to me when I was the one who should be apologizing." Tori heard that and nodded, trying to put the pieces together, only to find out that she had no pieces. Not yet.

Jade not only heard, she also felt it. He thought he was the one who needed to apologize. Immediatly, a warm feeling spread across her chest, and she fought so hard to not get up and jump on him, giving him a big hug. So the "stupid thing" he did was not the kiss. Jade knew she shouldn't, but she felt happy to know that it did meant something to him. That was good to at least make her tolerate the day ahead.

Robbie didn't know if he should get worried about Tori, but he was going to keep his Tori-radar alert on. The girl was definitely on to something. All of his thoughts vanished when he looked across the table and saw Jade with her head down, but not down enough for him to not notice the small smile that was on her lips. Her lips turned into the familiar evil smirk when she looked back up and said while getting up to leave "Well, I'm sure as hell not gonna miss that damn puppet. But if you give him to me, I promise to make a nice sweater with his hair" and with that she left, not bothering to call Beck. Now that she wasn't looking at the group the small smile was back on her face.

Robbie, for some strange reason, chuckled at Jade's comment. That was what set off Tori. She was definitely going to have a talk with Robbie. She thought it was the safer choice, Jade could really hurt her. So as Robbie was walking alone to Sikowitz's class he felt a hand on the collar of his shirt, forcing him to enter the janitor's closet, which was quickly becoming a popular place in that school. Half-hoping it would be Jade, he turned around to meet Tori's slightly smaller frame. Tori's eyes were hard and serious. Robbie's theory that she was on to something was actually now a fact.

After a couple of seconds he asked "Okay Tori, what are you doing?"

"You are gonna tell me what's going on between you and Jade right now! The weird looks, the weird response you gave me, you laughing when she said that about Rex... Seriously Robbie, what's going on?"

Robbie didn't know if he should be shocked or amazed. Because Tori Vega actually figured it out, or was trying to, and that only took a couple of minutes. That girl had a great eye for suspicious things. But trying to sound convincing he said "I don't know what are you talking about, there's nothing going on between me and Jade, I just laughed at a thing she said, why is that bad?" Tori looked a little out of place but responded anyway "There's nothing wrong about that, it's just... weird. She made a mean comment about _Rex_ and you didn't said anything! And don't lie to me, I saw the looks you shared!"

Tori realized she was sounding like a jealous girlfriend. Blushing a little bit she continued "Look, I just want to look out for you, I'm your friend and that's what friends do. I just don't want to see you getting hurt." Robbie was touched by that. For some reason he trusted Tori's words. He believed in her when she said she was his friend and that she didn't want him to get hurt. Robbie said in a low voice "Look, thank you for looking out for me, not a lot of people do that, so it really means a lot. But there's nothing going on between me and Jade so you don't need to worry okay?". With that, he slowly got closer to her and embraced her in a hug. She returned the hug, holding as tight as she could at his waist. She only stopped when he said he couldn't breath.

They walked out of the closet together, both smiling at each other as they went to Sikowitz's class. Their shoulders were a lot closer than ever before.

**AN: So that's it for Ch4! I hope you like Tori joining the storyline :D Rori is actually my second ship now behind Rade, I might start a story on them or do a one-shot :D I still ship Tribbie a little but Trina is even more over-the-top this season so it's been hard lol Yes, I like Cabbie too, just not that much :)**

**Review it please! :D**

**We gotta make a logo for our Rade Revolution and for R.A.B.B.I. :P **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Wow, six whole months since I last updated this fic. I'm really sorry for those who waited(if you're still out there xD) but a lot of things got in the way and I just couldn't concentrate on writing a good chapter. You have no idea how many times I've tried to, but I was never satistified with the result. I am now! I hope this makes up for the huge hiatus I took on this fic. So enjoy and review it please :D **

The week after the incident, Jade, Robbie and the whole gang went into summer break. Not a word about what happened was said between the two of them. It was like it never existed. But in their minds it was more alive than ever. Both of them couldn't shake off the feelings of warmth, safety and, most of all, _acceptance _that flooded through them in that brief moment of passion. But those feelings could not _ever_ be transformed into words, it was what they thought.

Jade wanted Robbie to be happy but she knew she couldn't give him the happiness he deserved it. So as then entered their much needed break, Jade took a back seat and watched Tori get closer to Robbie. Of course, her instincts were to rip the little Vega to shreds but her heart was stronger and it was telling her it was for the best. She didn't understand why, but she knew it was.

What it wasn't good was that Beck was going to be away for the whole break, visiting his relatives in Canada. Jade knew that they were drifiting apart but right now Beck was the only thing keeping her sane. In other words, keeping Robbie away from her thoughts. But the circumtances weren't exactly her friends so she just had to be there _alone_ to watch the guy she was falling in love with get closer to the pretty, bubbly latina girl. Shit happens huh?

* * *

><p>Yes, Tori Vega was set on helping Robbie with whatever his problems were that she still didn't understand and to be there for him at all times. No, she didn't know why she was doing that. Yes, she was lying. She knew why. Because that damn puppet boy intrigued her in ways that she couldn't possibly begin to explain. Her caring nature pulled her into his broken one and she just knew that she was in for a long ride. But that's what friends are for right?<p>

He didn't even have to say but she knew he had a lot in his mind, thoughts that were a ticking bomb just waiting to explode on the outside. But she was going to be there for whatever it was. She just wished she could get through him and make him talk to her but everytime she tried to get into a serious subject he just rubbed it off and went into another, lighter one. Especially when she tries to talk about Jade, because she still thinks that something big did happen between them, but that's when he changes the subject in the fastest time. Everything went back to normal after her talk with him in the janitor's closet. Jade still mocked him and he still didn't say anything back. Normal as can be. But it still didn't _felt _normal to Tori.

But she wasn't going to focus on that. Actually, she didn't know what to focus, really. She just simply saw her and Robbie grow naturally closer over the break and even though he still was mysterious as possible, she noticed he started to laugh and smile more, to be more calm and collected. She did want to take some credit for that, to simply know she was making another person's life, a friend's life, better in some way. So the more they laughed, the more they got closer the more she noticed _she_ was happier. Happy to always have a friend at her side, who she just knew it was going to be there for her when she needed. Robbie gave her that comfort. And she was very grateful for it. What she didn't notice was a pair of big blue eyes, watching them with sadness the whole summer.

* * *

><p>Cat was throwing a big party at her house to celebrate... something that she couldn't remember anymore but since it was in the weekend that it was gonna close the summer and set their return to HA, that's what the guests bought into. Everyone from their school was there, enjoying the last week of freedom they would have in quite some time. Beck was still in Canada and was only going to be back in the next day. So Jade planted herself in a corner, drinking her beer(Cat's brother got it), listening Cat rambling from time to time and most important, eyeing from distance Tori and Robbie interacting. She didn't care about the music and she didn't care about the party. Her goal for the night was to see how close those two got. Lame huh? But that's Jade fuckin' West for you.<p>

At some point during the night, the two new best friends separated, stopping their lovely(ugh!) chit-chat for Robbie to go to the bathroom and for Tori to get a new drink. Without thinking, Jade's feet began to make their way to the table where Tori was refilling her cup. Luckily for her, the bitch Jade West came back in just the time she opened her mouth "So Vega, you and dorky are getting it on huh?" She hoped that Tori didn't notice the jealously in her tone.

Tori replied a little annoyed "I honestly don't know what you are talking about Jade. And his name is Robbie by the way"

"Yeah, thanks for the reminder" Jade said "But cut the crap. I saw you two getting closer over the summer, you just have to admit it. You have the hots for the puppet boy" Now Jade was almost begging for Tori to notice the jealously.

But apparently she didn't, she just sound really annoyed when she said "No, that was just me being a friend in a time where he needed one and no one else was there"

Seeing that no response came from the goth girl, Tori finished in a sarcastic yet harsh tone "But don't worry, if I ever "get it on" with the "puppet boy" you'll be the first one to know"

Jade now replied in a dull tone with "Whatever. You bored me already. I'm out". But as she turned her back to leave, her eyes started to water and she whispered in a cracked voice, hoping Tori wouldn't listen "Just don't hurt him, okay?" and with that she left for the yard.

But Tori did listen.

**AN: That's it for this chapter folks! I hope you're still out there and that you still give this fic a chance, my inspiration is coming back for this so I hope you stay tuned :D In the next chapter I promise some Rade action as there was none in this one. So review it and thanks again for all the support :D **

**See ya! **


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